Imperfect but true

The following in a conversation between our Lord Jesus and myself. In the Spirit, I write down what is spoken upon me, and what my response is. This council takes many other forms, but I am blessed in every case to be a part of it. I am free to share anything our bond supplies, and on occasion I do so. This, what I am about to share with you, was from the early hours of this morning. I am sharing it, with you, my Christian family, because I want you to put yourself in my position, and consider how you would answer these questions put forth by our Lord and Savior. It is humbling for me to share this. LORD: Do you understand what it means to be loving? ME: Through faith at cost in the world, selfless and through the kingdom, honoring your authority. LORD: This is a good answer. But do you find this to be what you do? ME: Rarely. Only with you, regarding tasks. Otherwise, I love in human terms, even you, by what I gain from it. It is a way to give meaning to my existence. LORD: That is an honest answer and sincere. Why do you serve both masters in this way? ME: It is easier to relate to others around me to show love they expect instead of loving them in a way that honors your authority. I do not do this by choice as much as it is what I was raised to do, live by transgression. I do not want to be this way. I do not know how to love others in a way that honors you in the moment. I suppose it is because I am not bringing you into each moment. That is my sincere answer, and humbly I say, you deserve more. LORD: You consider your failings as dishonoring me but they dishonor you. Your place in me describes you as more. You wear a royal robe yet stand in mud. It is true you live to accomodate others in ways they value. But at what cost? You do not bring them any closer to me, they do not witness holiness from you, you only gratify the error in which they live. ME: Am I to ignore the pigs, or feed them what they need? What is it to express what they cannot comprehend? Is it not true that unless their eyes are open they cannot see, unless their ears are open they cannot hear? I am not able to bring them closer to you, neither believer or non believer. I am only able to encourage them to seek you out, and remain in belief. Otherwise, yes, I give them what they recognize as good. LORD: You say much, and I consider it worthy. But what is it to carry on in this manner? ME: To be in the world and remain in you. To see the lie they are in while through faith acknowledging our bond and completing tasks of holy measure. I have mentioned this before, I am one foot on land and one on the water. It is not by choice I have two masters, and you know my heart and mind, I love the tree and love the fruit. But in my circumstance, I am surrounded by things and people who I must deal with, despite my beliefs. You said to me to spend as little time as possible with non-believers. You said this knowing that my circumstance includes them. I do not know how to live solely honoring you. I am not saying it is not possible, I am saying I do not know what else to do Lord. LORD: Compendium complete. A knowledge of self that describes the trials of a soul in time. You do not know what I speak of? I speak of too many words for what is a desire to do what is right by me. All I ask is you remain in me. And increasingly you do so. ME: So what do you suggest I do to not serve two masters? That hurts to see you bring that before me. LORD: You have no more than you need, and you keep to yourself as much as you can, and you are at a loss emotionally, and physically, and you have little means to even survive. You honor those who keep you, you encourage them spiritually, you openly say loving things to your surrounding family, you remain true to me in most ways. I said what I said, so that you are humble in my presence. You are unable to serve me properly, all who I forgive, are forgiven of this. ME: You know my heart and mind. So I will stand before you and say, it is yours to forgive, but what alternative is there for those you forgive but to be forgiven? We are of woman, you are/were of God. LORD: Blessed be the one who stands before me, all of Heaven be witness to the courageous one who speaks the truth. Yes, forgiveness was necessary, and it came through me first. ME: Holy are your ways Lord. I fear you, but I love you, so I speak. LORD: Many are witness. Go now about your tasks. ---- Consider how you would have answered. Consider how valuable his forgiveness is. Consider what choices you make that dishonor YOUR place in him. Be humble, raise up in prayer what is on your heart and mind. Be free to open up to the Lord, holding back anything is to your detriment. I consider this, what I have shared openly with you, an act of love. Blessed are those humble in their way. Amen